Birds sing to attract a mate, dolphins whistle to their friends, and bees dance to show the hive members where the best flowers are located. Communication is what makes the world go round. So why is it so tough between people?
In Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town, a recently deceased woman, Emily, is told that she can go back to relive one day. She chooses her birthday when she was a young girl. She is with her mother in the kitchen as her mother fixes breakfast. She tries to talk with her mother, but becomes aware that her mother speaks to her while busy, never really looking at her. Emily realizes that we get so caught up in what we do each day, that we miss actually connecting with one another.
Communicating with people is a fact of life. We count on it for most of the things that occur in life. Then why can’t we put what we are doing aside, and pay full attention to the person speaking with us? I am not sure I can supply the best answer. I do know I see it on a daily basis in my counseling practice and hence I wrote the book, He Said She Said I Said—7 Keys to Relationship Success. There are certain tools and skills to be aware of, but more often there needs to be something else: that of getting into the emotional world of the person you are trying to communicate to. And that is no easy task. Many people have written books about this, as did I. And many of you will see yourselves in the pages of this book. Enjoy the latest review of this timely book. Maybe it can be a beginning of better communication for the new year and your first new year resolution for 2014.
This is a short book about an important subject – communication within close relationships. It makes some very valid points which we all forget at times. We don’t listen to what is being said and try and work out what is going on behind the words themselves. Almost all of the time we get it wrong. Mind reading is not an exact science and human beings are notoriously incapable of setting aside their own biases and treating people as individuals.
Most people reading this book are going to recognize things they say and do and are probably going to squirm with embarrassment at times – I know I did. We have to listen to those closest to us and pay attention to their concerns but too often we don’t listen properly because we’re too busy working out what we’re going to say in response.
The book also covers such subjects as trust and forgiveness which are so important in close relationships. I found the book interesting and it was written in an easy and approachable style. We could all make use of the ideas in this book to improve our close relationships.