Many of those who are ardent readers of my blog have seen some information about goals. It is worth repeating.
You probably set goals for yourself every day. But how often do you set goals for your relationship to flourish?
It is possible to have a plan to keep your relationship in good shape. Goals keep us motivated to getting just a bit better at things, to keep us on our toes. It’s important to keep complacency from setting in. Goals keep us moving along in our journey and also bring new adventures into our lives. We need a plan to keep us organized and secure that we are looking out for our best interests and following new trends.
Goals help to organize our chaotic lives. We’re so busy, that it’s easy to get swept up, living moment to moment, with no way to steer. But goals help give us some direction, control, and focus. Instead of feeling as if we are walking around aimlessly, we know that we’re getting ahead. Perhaps you want to be less sedentary, have a more responsible job, or find a caring lover.
Whether it is from our employer or our partner, we are sometimes gently reminded that goals are important for getting ahead. On a personal level, our goals might be to lose weight, get a promotion, win a tennis match, or discover the love of our life. The list is endless.
Some people just talk about goals, while others make them happen. Those who talk may have good intentions but no follow through. Those who make plans happen, see change. If you are a goal-motivated person, the following tips may be helpful.
Ways to incorporate goals into your relationships:
1. Write down your goal. Then share it with your partner. Talk about it, and see if you agree on the selection. Perhaps you want to learn about gourmet cooking, and your partner wants to eat gourmet food. If so, you two are a match!
2. Make the plan specific. Discuss the details of the goal and have many small goals, instead of large unattainable ones. For example, if you want to try out some creativity in the bedroom, start with some little things before you both tackle recreating the pottery scene from Ghost.
3. Make it measurable. Set parameters that will tell you if it was effective.
4. Make it timely. Allow a period of time for the goal to be met. For example, set up a plan for date night twice per month. At the end of a year, evaluate your progress. Do not leave the timeframe open ended.
5. Make the goal fit your values, strengths and purpose. Be comfortable with the end result of your goal.
6. Identify why this goal is important to you, and discuss it with your partner. Hold hands while you talk, and truly listen to what your partner says.
7. Identify obstacles that could keep you two from achieving the goal. For example, if you have planned date nights, have a backup sitter if the first one can’t make it. Develop a plan of action steps to ensure success.
8. Take consistent action daily to turn your goal into a reality. Use a support network of people you can count on for accountability and encouragement.
9. And finally, celebrate your accomplishment!
As in the corporate or business world, supervisors and managers often reward employees with an “Employee of the Month” prize for some job well done. Give yourselves the “Relationship of the Month” title and celebrate your job well done. Your reward could be a The Gift of a Lifetime Marriage.